I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
