She is in my trunk
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
