I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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