So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize