I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
