Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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