You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
