I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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