Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
How external is "for external use only"?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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