wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, donβt meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize
