Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
