She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
