so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
