Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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