ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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