Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it's like iHOP with fire
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
