Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I understand Curling. That high.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
