Those balls look pretty dangerous.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
