My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
