I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
