Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
