I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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