Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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