We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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