he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
