I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so let's talk penis.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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