I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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