Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
