I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize