She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
