I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
