I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
