Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
