and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You are a genius and a whore.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
