There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
