were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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