the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
