There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
