This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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