I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize