The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just invented taco cereal.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize