I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize