2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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