I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
