I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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