Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize