what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
