whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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