she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
