I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
