You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
