what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
