That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
