I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
