Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
