no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
