You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I would ride that face into the sunset
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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