Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
